05 Nov

Who is Flirting with Your Man?

I watched her tilt her head slightly as she talked to him. She leaned in against the counter, head tilted, laughing a little when she spoke.

She was flirting. With him.

WITH HIM. Him…my husband…she was flirting with him.

I  grew to the size of the Hulk…big, imposing, angry…a force to be reckoned with. {in my head} Outwardly, I stood close by watching, trying my best not to snarl or let on that I was one head tilt away from needing bail money.

And somewhere deep within me a whisper pricks my heart, makes my soul ache. Are you mad cuz she’s flirting or mad because you don’t flirt with him like that anymore?

He never flirts back with her. In fact, he says later he didn’t notice her flirting, and that should be enough to make my wretched, jealous inner witch stand down, but it’s not. I am irritated and wound up, and the more I dwell on it, the more I wonder why I am upset. Why is this nameless girl in some random restaurant {who my husband didn’t notice} causing me to lose it?

That voice somewhere in me really is at the core of what’s bothering me…do I flirt with my husband?

I think fondly back to dating, engagement, and newlywed moments. Times before kids, ministry, bills, family struggles, and life put space between us. Stolen kisses on the way to the car; holding hands across the center console; secret winks and glances across crowded rooms; being excited when he walked in the room; emails sent full of flirtations and plans; late night calls that whisper “I am home, I miss you;” being introduced as “Mrs.” and “my wife” made me giddy and proud.

Love blossomed under showers of flirtations, discovery, interest and chemistry. Electric moments punctuated the every day sentences of our life — his hand on the small of back, kisses under the mistletoe in our kitchen, a hug that lingers in the moonlight.

Perhaps this nameless girl awakened something in me…the drive to be the one that flirts with my man. Do you flirt with your husband?

So here is the mission {should you choose to accept it}: flirt with your husband. Find little ways, every day, to turn his head…make him feel sexy and loved…be the woman who surprises him…the one he doesn’t want to take his eyes off…reassure him that he’s attractive, he’s wanted, he’s important to you…

…play footsie at dinner…

…catch his eye from across the room…hold his gaze…

…walk him to the door and kiss him {like you mean it} before he heads out the door in the morning…

…text him — thoughts, plans, what you are wearing….

…steal kisses…

 

…hold his hand in the car…

…touch his arm while he’s talking to you…

…stand closer, lean into him, linger…

…hang mistletoe someplace unexpected {hey Christmas is coming!} and hijack him…

…wear that shirt he likes on you, or those knickers, and make sure he knows you have them on…

…leave love notes on the mirror, on sticky notes around the house, in his shoes, on his steering wheel…

…flirt on Facebook or other social media…

…offer him a back rub or foot rub…

…greet him with his fav dinner dressed in something skimpy…

…be interested in what he’s interested in…

…do things to make him laugh…

 

So you get the point. I’m sure there are a million ways to flirt. So get to it…I am. Tonight, in mere minutes actually, we are headed out for date night. I will flirt with this green eyed boy who stole my heart. Not because some woman did, but because I have been given the amazing blessing of calling him husband and I want him to know he is loved, adored, attractive, needed and wanted.

I’ve heard it said before, and I’m sure they are right, if you aren’t paying attention to your man someone else will. And so my question is, who is flirting with your man?

6 thoughts on “Who is Flirting with Your Man?

  1. I was anticipating this blog. Since we had mentioned it Saturday. This is so true. Another thing you and Will do that is so sweet is hold pinkies. Haha, I’m not crazy(well I am) but that’s beside the point. You both used to hold pinkies all the time on your way into church. I thought it was the cutest thing. Will would hold out his pinkie to you without even looking at you and you would grab it. I just thought, awww, now that is love! Just that little connection that says so much.
    My parents still flirt and date. It makes such a difference in a marriage. I think so many couples forget that we must still respect, love, and all and still FLIRT to keep the person interested. How boring would life be without the icing that keeps it fun and interesting? Great blog!

    • Cathy — you are so right it is important and keeps things fun. My grandparents, who were married 63 years, flirted even well into their 80’s. I want that too!! BTW, it cracks me up that you noticed that we hold pinkies…we definitely do that! Love you friend!

  2. Its not so much the visible flirting that gets to me. I have been down the road of infidelity with my husband and I have learned to forgive, however, the feeling haunts me every now and then still. I’ll call him, and I hear a woman giggling in the background, and even though I know in my mind that its the receptionist and shes a bit loud and abrasive, I still think….”my gosh, what if” …and then I have to snap myself back into reality. I read this blog and thought, well maybe if I FLIRT MORE…IF I TAKE the steps …maybe Ill think less about me, and more about him.

    • Nikki, the whispers of our past hurts and insecurities are so hard to handle…they make us get in our own way, often. I pray that changing your focus to your hubby will help you quiet all of that. That those pangs of “what if” would slip away and there would be total restoration and healing. God bless!! Keep flirting. 🙂

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