09 Jan

There’s Nothing You Can Do to Change That

Fingers clenched so tightly into fists her knuckles were white. Arms shaking, tension surging through her. Tears ran over dimples, dripping off a little chin and wetting the tips of her blonde locks. “I just feel so stupid!” She screamed at me.

After a fight with her little brother my daughter stood at the end of the couch. Angry at him for doing little brother things and more angry at me for daring to say that she was being mean and bullying him.

That’s her new thing. Telling me that she is stupid. I don’t know where it came from, but can I just tell you where I wish it would go. Away. Forever. It is difficult enough to just deal with her emotion and her words, but to stop and consider that this six-year-old who reads above a fifth grade level, that crafts stories and songs, and has a heart filled with compassion for others might believe those words she cries in anger. Well, that just breaks my heart.

And, what was my response? I sighed. Tired of these same words, the same fit, the same emotion. A mama tired of “he touched me”, “she looked at me”, “that’s mine”. I wanted to shoo her away.

BUT, I didn’t.

Because in that moment I realized He’s never shooed me away.

I’ve thrown 100’s {maybe 1000’s??} of fits at God, about God, in front of God and He never turns away. He never leaves me to believe the lies of this world and the whispered untruths of my emotions.

Slowly I began to explain that making bad choices or having bad behavior doesn’t make you stupid. We talked about consequences of being angry and how it makes others feel. And then I told that when she was ready she needed to apologize to her brother.

There were so many more lessons to be had in that moment, but I knew as the sobs continued and her fists stayed clenched she wasn’t ready to hear a lesson or see the character of God. She had to be done being mad, she had to get out of her own way. Wow, have I been there before!

Less than two minutes later Paxton, our son, appeared on the stairs, “Mom, Isabel feels like God doesn’t like her anymore.” He didn’t know what to do about it, but you could tell from the look in his big blue eyes he knew that wasn’t true.

I called Isabel down the stairs again.

The look of defeat hung heavy over her round features. There was no clenching, no shaking, no anger.

“Why do you think God doesn’t like you?”

“Because I keep doing all these things wrong.”

As we sat on the couch bathed in afternoon sunshine we talked about the fact that our behavior isn’t a surprise to God. She kind of giggled at the thought, or the realization, that God already knew she was going to pitch a fit and toss her brother out of her way in the hallway. We talked about forgiveness, repentance (not an easy concept for an adult, let alone a sister who feels justified in roughing up her lil brother), and how God gives us a fresh start everyday.

I stopped talking and just watched her.

I whispered, “God loves you, honey. And there is nothing…nothing you can do to change that.”

She nodded. She looked at my face and flashed those killer dimples. All was right again in her world.

In an instant she was gone again. Off to play with Paxton, again. Secure in the love of a God she’s stretching to learn about and loved by a momma who needed a reminder of that very lesson.

We all fall short. That’s the plain and simple truth. And we aren’t stupid or lost causes. Just human. But we are redeemed by the love of a God who knew of our fits and failures, of our disobedience and sin and chose to love us beyond anything we can fathom.

Let that truth wash over you for a minute. For God so loves you…

{now skip off to play or do laundry or get back to work or whatever, but do it with a smile on your face and song in your heart knowing that nothing can ever change the truth you just breathed in!}

Father, thank you for loving us. Thank you for loving us despite¬†our fears and failures, our sin and selfishness. Thank you for moments to teach Your baby girl¬†You love her and that won’t change. I ask your mercy and wisdom for this “baby girl” who needs to remember her Daddy’s love and show it daily to those around me, especially our children. Amen.


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