…one thing (is needed)…chosen what is better…
Balancing a small cup of grape juice and a bit of a communion cracker in hand, I leaned over to try to hear his words. Tears. Whining.
The Pastor continued to speak. To preach.
Body….broken for you….blood…shed for you.
Tears and whining.
Help me, Lord. Help me choose you in this moment.
The truth is, it is hard to be a mom sometimes. To guard your child’s hearts and feelings. To keep your squirmy, wiggling little people from distracting others around you. To worship when there’s whining and tears.
But in the silent, holy space of communion I knew I had a choice. To chose the one thing that is needed…Jesus.
I closed my eyes and focused on the pastor’s words….listening for God, offering my repentance for choosing (maybe always?) what feels more important in the face of discomfort, embarrassment and all things tangible.
Peace. Communion. Me and my Jesus.
And when the holy moment exhaled and we could shift gears, there weren’t any more tears or upset little people. I had chosen the one thing that was needed and it wasn’t taken from me (Luke 10:41).
Music filled the air. I stare out the window over God’s girls worshiping. Blue skies. Trees. Beauty crafted by the Creator we are worshiping.
And then I hear it, the phone ringing. The only phone in a signal-less area.
God, what do I do?
Answering means stopping worship. Answering means putting God on hold.
I quietly walked over, unplugged the phone and returned to worship. Returned to God.
The looks, the faces, the scowls told me that many in the room did not share my perspective for what was needed.
I chose God. It was unpopular and difficult.
…only one thing is needed….
But at the end of the day, I want to be right with God…even if that means I’m not right with His people all the time.
(btw, I plugged the phone back in after worship!)
I looked from them to him. Was there tension? Were they upset?
Music playing. Hands of others lifted in worship. Yet, I couldn’t concentrate.
Caught up in others emotions and thoughts I couldn’t focus on God…others were uncomfortable and upset.
…praise…. I sang the word and it stung.
There’s nothing about me praising you, Jesus. I’m choosing something else. Forgive me.
Over and over again lately I find myself face-to-face with moments of choice. Will I choose the One thing that is needed…my God? My Lord. My Savior. And I wonder how often do I subconsciously make these choices, never noticing that I don’t allow Jesus to be my One thing…do I make Jesus move over for children, spouse, comfort, phones, anything that I choose in that moment.
In this time of cell phones, texting, Facebook, twitter, you name it, never be alone technology I can’t help but wonder how often we choose to text in church, to troll Facebook rather than immerse ourselves in the Word, do we choose what rings and vibrates over the One that whispers and waits.
As a mother I find it a constant struggle to keep God as my God…number one in my head and heart…when family presses in, when children whine, when I worry, nurse and hold. I am learning. I fail more than I succeed right now, really, but I ask forgiveness and the strength of the God who made my mother’s heart and push on.
In the story of Mary and Martha, Martha choose her to do list and her preparations over Jesus. Mary chooses Jesus…the One thing that was needed. She chooses Jesus in the face of family pressure, dinner guests, to do lists and life….Mary chose Jesus. And oh, how I want to do that…to just chose my Jesus.
What is it that distracts you? What keeps you from focusing on Jesus? What battles to take the spot of the One thing in your life?
Father, thank you for loving me enough to offer grace…oh, how I need it! Help me to focus on You — to be still, to turn the world off, to put away all that distracts me…to learn to just be with You…hear You…choose You! Amen.